Letter
Date written:
July 26, 2015
From:
David Lewis
To:
David Lewis
Letter:
Dear 2015-version of myself, A year ago today, I penned this letter to you in the hope that by the time you read it, twelve months later, you would have made the following changes to your trainwreck of a life: 1. Pad Thai, while undeniably delicious, should not be eaten thrice a week. Taking pity on the restaurant owners who each night stick their heads out from the kitchen wishing that, for once, the tables would be full of hungry customers is sweet but by no means a justification for this unhealthy addiction of yours. Cook your own damn food! 2. Remember when you awoke in your college dormitary to find nothing in the fridge but half a tub of margarine and a clove of garlic with which to somehow construct a meal? That was cute in 2007 but almost a decade later, and five years into a successful career, you really should leave yourself with more to eat before pissing away your last twenty bucks at McDonalds at 2AM after a night out on the town. 3. You're also far too old to experience the crushing anxiety that comes with handing over a key card to a salesperson and wondering if there will be enough money in your account to buy new shoes after the soles fell out of your favourite pair days earlier. The last time this happened the payment was in fact declined. You fumbled while slipping your key card back into your wallet and dropped the lot on the floor. As you scrambled to pick everything up, you muttered something about having to rush off to the bank, and fled the store red-faced with your tail between your legs. Learn to budget already, dude! 4. After finally stepping out of the closet in 2011, it seemed the world was your oyster. You played the field and turned down umpteen promising contenders for your heart, citing reasons as trivial as "I hate their taste in music". You assumed there was no shortage of time in which to find a partner and that you could afford to be fussy. However, as you lie awake at night, your face illuminated by the bright yellow colour schme of the gay hook-up app Grindr, you will discover the old adage "there's plenty of fish in the sea" is in fact bullshit. You really should have grabbed onto the first guy who took an interest in you, before mounting horses, and galloping off into the sunset together. Life lesson: you're not perfect and your partner won't be either. 5. There's nothing like a merciless round of redundancies to shock you out of your complaceny at work. You might be safely out of the firing line now - being young and cheap to hire - but there will come a time when, after many decades of unwavering loyalty to the corporation, your services are no longer required. Don't expect to find satisfaction only in work. When all is said and done, it is your family and friends who will be standing by your side. Invest as much in them, if not more, than you do in your career. 6. Go to the gym more, sign up to a yoga classes, and do a juice cleanse, yada, yada, yada. Gotta go demolish some Pad Thai. Later, 2016 myself.
Attachment:
Date to be sent:
July 26, 2016
